Camden I v Coton (away)

SAME OLD STORY

Debutant shines in familiar flop-fest

Coton (20pts) 130-1 beat Camden (3pts) 124 by nine wickets

Firstly, a confession: your correspondent missed this week’s fixture in order to attend the welcoming party in a Cardiff pub for Sutton, keen to get to the root of why the Camden batsman and a pal had walked 210 miles in ten days. His motivation remains a mystery, but if it was an extreme measure to avoid the annual drubbing at Coton, then the former fruiterer was not alone. Fox-Teece chose to go to Corby. Not by foot, it must be said, but still – Corby? To perform glam rock covers? Is losing to Coton really that unappealing? Perhaps so, as even bonkers Camden ultras John and Hilary Sutton made their excuses – the former Thirds’ captain joining model railway enthusiasts for a meeting in Swindon, and Vice President (Cake) reporting a positive Covid test. It was something of a miracle, then, to hear that the selectors had cobbled together an eleven.

Updates from Coton would have come as welcome relief to those subjected to Sutton’s blistered feet, but none were forthcoming. Was it a case of no news is good news? Or were the Thirds busy chasing leather in the field? Neither, it turned out, as word finally came through that the visitors, perhaps lacking a top-order batsman who could bat through, had limped to 124 all out. By this stage the welcoming party had retired to a garden, and Sutton – reclining in a hammock, beer in hand – declined to comment. The scorebook tells the familiar story of a feeble procession, brightened only by Adler’s 36, and 29 from last-minute debutant Adil Khan – “belligerent” and “sprightly”, respectively, according to Captain Redfern. 

Perhaps not helped by the lack of cake, and despite some good bowling, by all accounts, Camden couldn’t prevent Coton strolling to victory inside twenty-four overs – Baker taking the only wicket to fall, a stumping for Clarke. “About as comfortable a chase as can be imagined – I don’t remember anything remotely promising,” confessed Redders, bleakly. “Honking,” was Kelsall’s one-word review.

And it’s said you had to be there… And perhaps you did, because Coton’s popular Kiwi was reported to have behaved himself throughout – even offering a complimentary remark to Redders about a cover drive. The behaviour of the crowd in Corby may not have been so cordial, but there is plenty of time for the Fenland crooner to recover from the ordeal. The same can be said for Sutton’s feet, as Camden don’t play again until the second weekend in June, by which time this match will have been forgotten.

Man of the Match: Adil Khan